We've made it to Phoenix where in spite of it only being around 70 degrees, I'm sweating like a Finn in a sauna. I think something must be wrong with me...seriously. I'll probably have a stroke during the 5K tomorrow.
We had the misfortune of flying on TED to Phoenix this morning. This was United Airlines' ill-conceived attempt at a low-fare airline within the airline. It lasted longer than all the other experiments (RIP-Metrojet and Song), and there's a reason all these carriers are dead. They sucked, well, Song didn't but the concept did. Anyway, TED will be dead sometime next year and not a moment too soon. Things looked so good when we got to ORD today too. No lines at all and the crowds weren't awful. We holed up in the new Red Carpet Club on the "B" Concourse and then went down to the gate only to discover that the inbound aircraft was late. The crowd at the gate was an indication of things to come. It was a cacophony of crying babies and yelping, barking dogs. The kind of little dogs that go in carriers in the cabin. The next three and half hours weren't going to be good.
We boarded about ten minutes late and it looked like we were going to get out pretty close to ontime. I had a dog in my row and another dog was behind SML, CAL, and the Boy. They had a crying baby behind them along too. Well, then the flight attendants start counting dogs and things went south. 40 - that's forty - minutes later, it was determined that we had too many dogs in the cabin so a dog had to go. So did the accompanying passenger. We got to watch the "Ballet O'Blame" in between the customer service agents too. I was livid by the time we finally backed off the gate.
So once we were in the air - TED continued to blow. As usual, one cup of soda, no whoe can for anyone. The crying baby fiesta went on most of the flight. I could go on and on. It was just a whole lot of unpleasantness. I'll be so glad when TED is officially dead - maybe Mother UA can go back to focusing 100% on its core customer base. Now - I do have to give a shout out to the purser on the flight. He was cool - he came back halfway through the flight to thank me for my business, and as he put it, "helping to pay United's bills." He also offered to comp a "mini meal." That was cool. But that's another thing...
What compelled United to include a can of tuna in their for sale meals? Why not just hand out vomit scented blankets? It's the same thing. The lady in my row could not buy the meal with the tuna in it fast enough and when she cracked open the tin o'tuna, its noxious fumes filled the cabin in no-time flat. What would compel an airline executive to think that putting canned tuna in an enclosed metal tube that is already, in most cases, a flying labratory of sickness, is a good idea? FYI - it's not. It's hideous. All it does is make you question why you paid several hundred dollars to be exposed to canned tuna fumes. And it makes you angry.
This explains why as soon as we picked up Our Lady of BYU that we made a beeline to In-N-Out. That was a good thing. So, now that were at my sister-in-law's, comfortably settled, it's time for the Thanksgiving festivities to begin. Only three more days until the TED return.
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