The horror that is "American Idol"

Last night I watched the first twenty minutes of "American Idol." These are twenty minutes that I will never, ever get back. I should have known better. I will never get those twenty minutes back. It was perhaps the worst twenty minutes of my life. In that time, I saw the most horrific parade of untalented singers I've ever witnessed. And these are supposed to be the finalists? When your lone hope and most "talented" person is a girl missing several discolored teeth, sporting dredlocks, and looking like she needs a shower in the worst way, you're no longer on a trumped up karaoke contest, you're on "America's Most Wanted." And not wanted in a good way. For me, the horror is over. I just need to figure out how to get those twenty minutes back. Maybe I can sue Simon Cowell...