Lady, the 90's are calling. They want their checks back.

I'm not feeling well.  I've got a cold.  That's what I get for sitting in the rain at the BYU game and then getting on a couple of planes, which we know are veritable flying hot zones of communicable disease.  When I have a cold or any other ailment, I'm not pleasant.  My family can attest to that.

So I should have known better to expect things to go smoothly at the grocery store today.  Wednesday is one of my regular work-from-home days and I started at 515AM because I had a bit of energy when I first woke up (said energy did not last).  Right around noon, I realized that I needed to get some cold medicine so it was off to the Jewel to get some relief. 

I went straight to the cold medicine aisle and found a whole lot of empty shelves.  Was it inventory day?  Remodeling?  No, it appears that now in order to buy cold medicine, unless it's generic, you have to go up to the pharmacy counter, fork over ID, and be deemed worthy to get said medicine.  Seriously?  It's not like I'm trying to buy birth control in Provo, Utah.  I'm a middle-aged man who has managed to NOT abuse over the counter medications and now, for whatever reason, it's nearly a crime to buy cold meds.  Anyway, I took one look at the line of people at the counter for meds and just grabbed a generic and made my way to the front of the store to pay and go.

I'm a big fan of these:

Because, typically, they speed the process and I can just get out.  That was not the case today.  There were several people lined up at one of the aisles that has multiple machines and then there was one lady in another lane, with no one lined up behind her.  I thought it was because people couldn't see over the lame balloons to see that she was the only one in line.

No, I quickly discovered why she was the only one in line.  She was writing a check - A CHECK - in the self-serve lane and then began an epic, and I mean EPIC, battle with the self-service machine to ram her check in as an acceptable form of payment.  I stood there for a little while, watching this battle of wits, and I was completely baffled by a couple of things: A) who, and I mean WHO, still writes a check at the grocery store?!  It's called a debit card, lady, use it; and B) no where does it indicate a place to pay with a check on the machine.  What makes you think it would? Were you raised by wolves?  It's not like this lady was 900 years old either.  I might have thrown her a bone if that were the case.  But I was having none of this battle royale.  I switched over to the other aisle, where a lady who was witnessing the same battle, let me go ahead of her and jump on the next machine, pay - with my debit card - in about ten seconds flat.

So, lady, take a lesson.  The 90's want their checks back and you should look into some of the fine features this century has to offer.  On that note, I should probably go take some more cold medication.  Take the edge off.