Questions. I've had questions.

In the week since Our Lady of BYU and Awesome announced their engagement, the stunningly patient and mighty fine SML and I have been sharing the news with friends and family.  Facebook and this blog have proven that the (electronic) pen is mightier (and may I add, faster and cheaper) than the sword (or the phone) and has been instrumental in spreading their good news.  And it is good, very good news.

It's been fun to hear the reactions.  It's also been a little, well, disturbing.  Some of the responses to me when I've shared their news and in particular the date of said event have been as follows:

• "Oh my!  Why so fast?"
• "How do you feel about becoming a grandpa?"
• "Is she pregnant?"

The last two responses were just a bit jarring and the less kind side of me, the one that I'm trying very hard to keep at bay, had some very snappy responses at the ready upon hearing those questions.  And, to keep me on the path of being tried and tested, I heard them more than once.  Here's the thing, the responses were not rude, I promise.  They were genuine.  As I've thought about it, I realize it's a reflection of the times in which we live.  By the world's standards, getting married some three months after announcing an engagement pretty much means you're either pregnant or one of you is shipping out to Iraq/Afghanistan.  I also recognize in the aforementioned set of circumstances, it is often both prompting a wedding.

It's not the case here.  It's more a reflection of our Mormon culture and experience and I've shared a little bit of that with my friends who had the above-referenced responses/questions.  The standards taught in the Church are different than most of those accepted in the world and that makes us different.  See the case of BYU basketball player Brandon Davies from earlier this year to understand a little better what those standards are.  It's not easy to live to these standards but we do our best to raise our children according to what we believe is God's will and instruction.  This doesn't mean that when they start dating that they can only date with a chaperone, a la the creepy Duggar family, they of "19 Kids and Counting" or is it 20 or 21 (those people are breeding machines!).  You trust that your children have done things right, without the chaperone foolishness, and when they meet that "one," they are ready.  So at that point, why wait another year?

Also, and this anecdotal, Mormon weddings are not quite the epic scenes you see in a lot of weddings and do not require months and months of planning, weeping, and fighting.  I'm sure our culture has created its share of "Bridezillas," but I think they are they exception, rather than the rule.  That's not to say things can be a little over the top.  I give you our own wedding from twenty-three years ago, the reception to be exact, as an example.  Here goes:

• Packages of bird seed given to friends announcing our engagement
• Ice sculptures of love birds at the reception
• Live love birds (I think they were doves) at the reception.  Sadly, said "love birds" had had enough of the reception less than five minutes into the event and they busted out of their cage like two suspected terrorists busting free from Guantanamo.  Their flight to freedom took them to the bell tower above the reception line.  They threatened to "unload" on us all night.  Good times.

Now, I would like to point out that I had no say in any of these shenanigans, nor did I want to.  This was my mother's doing.  I backed out of all of it when she called me four months before the wedding to ask me about colors of wedding napkins.  I told her I didn't care and that was that.  Done.  Although the threat of the pooping love birds above us did cause some excitement. 

There will be no such excitement at Our Lady and Awesome's upcoming event.  Even if it kills me.