A tad excessive

I found myself downtown yesterday to meet a friend so we could catch up.  He was in town for meetings and was staying at the Ritz Carlton Chicago so that is where we met.  I got there a little early and had the chance to sit down in their lobby and do a little people watching.

I saw a range of humanity including a couple of Spanish senoras whose plastic surgeons had been a tad too liberal, even excessive, in their 'work,' as well as several members of the Indiana Pacers team.  They were in town to play (and, as it turns out, beat) the Bulls last night.  There were a few of the "ladies who lunch" milling about as well.  It was the kind of crowd you'd expect, given the surroundings.

What I didn't expect is what came off the elevator not long after I sat down:

A jumpsuit...

Off the elevator strode a woman in enough - PETA alert! - fur to warm a Tibetan village for the next ten years with a whippet-thin dog (and I should note that said dog was NOT a whippet).  The dog was dressed in a black jumpsuit.  The picture above is only for you to get an idea. Believe me, I would have loved to have gotten a picture but those kind of shenanigans are, well, frowned upon at the Ritz.  Anyway, this jumpsuit I'm quite certain was from a designer and probably cost more than one of my kid's tuitions.  I used the word 'excessive' earlier in this post and I'm here to tell you that this jumpsuit on this dog was excessive.    It was just silly.  I'm worried.  Something is a little off in a world where it seems imperative to dress a dog in a designer jumpsuit and where an angry, self-impressed politician will use the two daughters from his first marriage that he abandoned to smear the second wife that he abandoned to justify sleeping around with the woman who would become his third wife.  Wrong?  Excessive?

I think things have gone off the rails just a little bit.  It's time to start getting things back on track.  Let it start small with no more doggie jumpsuits.  It's a start.

Kung Hei Fat Choi

Kung Hei Fat Choi, readers.

"Kung, what?" you ask, hoping that this is not going to be a diatribe about the 1970's television show, "Kung Fu."  Let me assure you it is not, although I could go on for what a hot mess that thing was, but I won't, other than to say that the late David Carradine owes us and grasshoppers everywhere an apology.

Today is the first day of Chinese New Year.  2012 is the Year of the Dragon and I am really glad it's here.  Primarily because I get to cook.  My steamer baskets are out, the wok is ready but the rice cooker is dead.  That's not good but I'll make due.  If it goes horribly wrong, there's a Chinese joint not far from the Den that I can use as a backup.

This celebration, like almost all things Asian, fascinates me.  I feel an affinity to the Asian culture in general and any excuse to celebrate it or be a part of it is fine with me.  My children, particularly Our Lady of Awesome, seem to think that somewhere in the unknown genetic swamp that is my background (remember that whole adoption thing), I have some Asian blood running in me.  Totally works for me if it's true.

So as the Chinese New Year dawns, I am hopeful that it will be a prosperous year.  That would be good.  As someone told me on Facebook today, "You so need to get a job."  Trust me, I know.  Here's to hoping that a fortune cookie will yield a good fortune tonight and that a new job looms around the corner.

Idle thoughts on a Friday

It's Friday and it's time for some idle thoughts:

The residents of the Den are hunkering down for a mini-version of last year's Snowmageddon.  Once again, we are being warned to be ready for as much as eight inches of snow by the end of the day.  Great.  I've oft written about the horrible Sheshrew that is Mother Nature and that battleaxe took her sweet time in bringing winter to us this year, but now that she's decided to show up, she's making her presence known.   She's an evil beast a charmer, for sure.

"Destructive. Vicious.  Negative."  Just three of the words that the ridiculous Newt Gingrich used to describe the media and CNN in particular for having opened last night's snoozefest, I mean nine billionth, Republican presidential debate, with a question about his second wife's allegations over his behavior during their unfortunate union.  Can I get a large order of hypocrisy, please?  Um, Newt, those three words apply perfectly to your behavior in two of your three marriages so far.  Ditching wife #1 during her cancer treatments for wife #2 and then asking wife #2 to let you continue your affair with she who would become wife #3 seems to me as destructive, vicious, and negative.  To be fair, wife #2 should probably reel it in a bit as she was the reason Newt ditched wife #1. These people need to stop the hypocrisy merry-go-round that they are riding.

Speaking of Newt's #3 wife, is it just me, or does she look like a version of Barbie, aged roughly into her mid-50's, who got a little too aggressive with the plastic surgery?  And why is it that her hair never, ever moves?

Phil Dunphy is brilliant.  Utterly brilliant.  His auto-tuned performance was the highlight of my week.  Maybe my year so far.

Night screams!

It has been brought to my attention by the stunningly patient and mighty fine SML that I am suffering from night screaming or night terrors.  Apparently, last night she woke me from an epic screaming jag.  I have no recollection of this, your honor. None.  Well, I remember her waking me up, wanting to know why I was screaming.  But before that, nothing.  I was disturbed to learn that the screaming is some pretty high-pitched freaky stuff.    Allegedly, this is not the first time this has happened. Can't wait to try and get to the bottom of this psychological 'issue.'

That wraps up Friday's idle thoughts.  I welcome your solutions to the whole night terrors fun.

My Movie Madness

Hide your eyes!

In a recent post, I gave you a recap of the travesty that is my musical history - a list of the #1 songs on my birthday since I was born.  It was an ugly list.  That got me thinking about the movies that were #1 on or around my birthday. Once again, thanks to the font of all things true on the interwebs, Wikipedia, I found the list.  It's not pretty.  I don't know what horrible entertainment karma cloud I was born under, but see the list below to get an idea -

• 1966 - "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" - based on the epic amount of alcohol consumed onscreen, not alcoholism
• 1967 - "Bonnie & Clyde" - we got a big glimpse of the enormous crazy to come from Faye Dunaway (see 'Mommie Dearest')
• 1968 - "Funny Girl" - there was a funny girl?
• 1969 - "The Trouble with Girls" - an Elvis Presley train wreck that should have been called "The Trouble with My Career"
• 1970 - "Five Easy Pieces" - I got nothin'
• 1971 - "Kotch" - not an early bio-pic of former NYC Mayor Ed Koch, rather it was a warm-up to Walter Matthau's penchant for playing grumpy old men
• 1972 - "Deliverance" - the mere twang of the banjo from this film sends men spiraling into a chasm of their deepest fears.  This film destroyed Ozark tourism for years.  And yet, we still have Branson...
• 1973 - "American Graffiti" - this featured Suzanne Somers in a non-speaking role.  If only it had stayed that way...
• 1974 - "Chinatown" - Jack Nicholson.  More crazy from Faye Dunaway.  Roman Polanksi.  This explains the whole slicing of the nose thing
• 1975 - "Jaws" - I still remember seeing this at the drive-in on Thomas Road.  I still hear my mother screaming hysterically.
• 1976 - "The Front" - Another one where I got nothin'
• 1977 - "Star Wars Episode IV:A New Hope" - no, it's called Star Wars.  Send an Imperial Soldier to lightsaber me to death for calling it Star Wars.
• 1978 - "Grease" - peppy songs to teach your daughter that if she wants to be accepted, she needs to turn into a skank.  Lovely.
• 1979 - "Apocalypse Now" - do you think the guy really loved the smell of napalm in the morning?
• 1980 - "Ordinary People" - there was no tossing of the beret, happy-go-lucky Mary Tyler Moore to be seen here.  Instead, one icy mean mommy. 
• 1981 - "Continental Divide" - in a word, awful
• 1982 - "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial" - by law and imperial decree, no bad can be spoken on this film, apparently
• 1983 - "Mr. Mom" - this did nothing for working mothers and it foisted Ann Jillian upon us.  Inexcusable.
• 1984 - "All of Me" - two amazing comics, Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin, make for one awful movie
• 1985 - "Back to the Future"- it takes a very funny movie to make the Oedipal complex entertaining
• 1986 - "Top Gun" - was this a recruiting film?  For the Navy?  For Scientology?  I'm just glad I was on my mission and didn't have to pay full price to see this mess
• 1987 - "Fatal Attraction" - the poor rabbit...
• 1988 - "A Fish Called Wanda" - One of the most brilliant movies ever made.  We drove other moviegoers out of the theater in Orem, UT when we saw this from how hard we were laughing.
• 1989 - "Sea of Love" - this sea should have been dammed by angry beavers
• 1990 - "Goodfellas" - Ladies and Gentlemen, Joe Pesci and his rug...
• 1991 - "Freddy's Dead:The Final Nightmare" - if only these tools knew what the word 'final' meant
• 1992 - "Sneakers" - Again, with the I got nothin'
• 1993 - "Striking Distance" - striking them is what audiences felt like doing to the two stars, Bruce Willis and Sarah Jessica Parker, after seeing this
• 1994 - "Timecop" - Jean Claude van Damme.  Someone please call a cop, a timecop, any cop and have Jean Claude stopped.  A grateful nation thanks you
• 1995 - "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar" - Wesley Snipes.  Worst tranny ever.
• 1996 - "The First Wives Club" - no wonder the husbands left
• 1997 - "In & Out" - so not about the history of the best burger place on the planet.  Consider yourselves warned
• 1998 - "Rush Hour" - Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan?  Annoying, yes, but funny
• 1999 - "Blue Streak" - 'streak' describes the pace at which Martin Lawrence's career sank
• 2000 - "The Watcher" - Keanu Reeves.  Means it was a no-watcher
• 2001 - "Hardball" - another Keanu film.  This times he's coaching baseball in Cabrini Green.  Oh, it's a fantasy film
• 2002 - "Barbershop" - man, another one where I got nothin'
• 2003 - "Underworld" - why, oh why, didn't it stay put in the underworld?  Why?
• 2004 - "Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow" - I think this was in heavy rotation on the plane.  Which means it's unwatchable
• 2005 - "Just Like Heaven" - actually titled 'Just Like Hell' because that's where you feel like you are watching this
• 2006 - "Jackass #2" - second funniest movie on this list
• 2007 - "Resident Evil:Extinction" - 'Extinction' means that you are gone for good and yet, we still have more of these movies.  Can someone get the producers a dictionary?
• 2008 - "Lakeview Terrace" - this keeps happening, but I got nothin'.  I told you that this list was worse than the music one
• 2009 - "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" - you're kidding, right?  Of all the family films ever made, this is the one that's #1 around my birthday.  Entertainment karma hates me
• 2010 - "The Town" - turns out 'The Town' is the name of the place where Affleck keeps his toupees
• 2011 - "The Lion King (in 3D)" - nothing like the Disney killing machine reissuing a film to take advantage of an already tired trend (3D)

One big difference in this list and the music list.  I've not seen a lot of these films and didn't remember a lot of them.  The music list was far more memorable and visceral.  Goes to show you just how powerful music is.

The miracle of the trail mix

History is full of accounts of miracles.  One need look no further than the Bible for a primer on miracles.  For instance, there was Moses and that whole parting of the Red Seas.  This one worked especially well for the fleeing Israelites, although I'm sure Pharoah's soldiers who drowned would argue the efficacy of said miracle.  Manna from heaven would be another.  The Savior was a source of many miracles - raising the dead, feeding thousands, His atonement.  The list goes on.

Today it seems that miracles aren't quiet as spectacular and the word gets tossed around lightly.  For example, "It's a miracle that Lindsay Lohan hasn't landed in jail this year."  This is a clear example of the word 'miracle' being misused.  That Miss (and I use that word loosely) Lohan has not wound up in the clink again is not a miracle.  It's a fluke.  The miracle is that she's not dead yet, but I digress and I don't want to dwell on that train wreck any further.

Rather, I give you the miracle of the trail mix.  The what?  You read that right...the miracle of the trail mix:

Miraculous!

Last night, the stunningly patient and mighty fine SML and I joined a few of our fellow Church members at the Chicago Temple.  It was a lovely evening and as the night drew to a close, my amazing wife looked over at me and as I took her hand in mine, she pointed to her wedding ring.  It took me about a tenth of a second to see why she wanted me to check it out.  The center stone, her diamond, was gone.  So were the prongs.  The entire setting had gone the way of the wind.  Gone, gone, gone.

The following went through my head simultaneously:  I can't freak out.  This has got to be upsetting to her.  I can't curse in this most religious of settings.  I can't cause a stir trying to find it.  Worse comes to worse, it's all covered under our insurance policy.  Why, though, when I'm unemployed, does something like this that's going to impact the wallet happen?  All at once, these thoughts rained down on me.  We quietly stepped away and began to recreate our steps that evening.  We determined that the setting could have disappeared hours earlier.  It was not going to show up where we were.

At this point, we were praying fervently that the setting would somehow, somewhere turn up.  We got to the car, scoured it, to no avail and so it was a long ride home.  I got the sense though that all would be well.  Granted, I'm not sentimental and so am not as attached to the sentimental value of the ring as SML was and rightfully so.  We got home, and scoured SML's car.  We went through the gloves she'd been wearing.  We went through through trash and nothing.  At this point, I was ready to go to bed, set to call the insurance company in the morning.

It was at this point, the screaming started.  Not my screams, but SML's screams.  She found the setting!  She remembered grabbing a handful of trail mix earlier in the day and thought she should look there. There it was! In a bag of trail mix.  The screams quickly turned to tears of joy and relief.  Again, not from me but from SML.  We were quite relieved at the turn of events.  We were most grateful.  We'd experienced our own little miracle.  We won't soon forget the miracle of the trail mix.

A refuge

When done right, searching for a job is a full-time gig.  Like any full-time gig though, you start to pine for a change in scenery.  While I enjoy the basement confines of my home office, since I've been dedicated full-time to finding a job, I've started to go a little stir-crazy and find myself looking for an occasional place of refuge.  Here's what I've found that doesn't work:

• The treadmill - I hate it.  It is one of the Devil's many tools.
• The Interweb - you start Googling your own name and suddenly it's a tsunami of confusion and outrage.
• Starbucks, Caribou, and any other similar place - turns out these places are where first and second year sales reps like to hang out in between appointments.  They like to fire up a minimum of three devices (cell, laptop, and some kind of messaging device) so they can take up two tabletops, trying to look important, and talk into them loudly about the tool they just called on and how drunk they are planning on getting this weekend.  These are the people that evolve into the jackwads who inevitably are seated in the row behind me on the plane who talk loudly into their cell phones until the very last minute, blathering on about the tool they just met with and how drunk they are going to get this weekend.  Sadly, they are now in their late 40's.

Here's what I've found that does work (for me):

The Library

Yes, the library.  This place works for me.  Sure, I'll admit it.  I'm a word nerd and I like me a good book.  It's also a peaceful place and chock full o'resources.  It's also a money-saver.  If I chose to hang out at my local bookstore, I'd wind up buying books.  A lot of them and that is not in the self-imposed austerity budget.  The library allows me to indulge my book addiction without paying for it.

I'm not alone in using the library as a refuge.  There are others there like me, professionals who find themselves unencumbered from full-time employment, who are looking for that next gig.  We give each other the knowing nod as we pore over copies of "Crains" and other resources.  One thing I will not do though is show up in an ill-fitting, hole-ridden jogging suit.  If you do that, you've given up, and you're one step away from being the creepy guy spending way, way too much time on the free computers in the library basement. Someone please slug me in the head if you see me do that.

I don't think it will come to that.  So, for now, the library will continue to be my place of refuge.  Now, if I decide to spend my afternoons riding the Metra aimlessly, something's gone wrong.  Again, I don't see it coming to that.

No winning today

Ah, Mondays.  When you're employed full-time, very often you dread Mondays. Your weekend is over and it's back to the grind.  I'm here to report that it's not much different when you are unemployed, or as I like to describe my current employment situation, unencumbered.

Frankly, I think Mondays may be worse when you are "unencumbered."  You dread Mondays because you aren't working.  You steel yourself up for the earsplitting silence of no responses from companies and you ready yourself for another templated rejection e-mail.  Then you try to balance that with trying to not get to psyched by interview callbacks or positive feedback on a resume submission.  It's a bit of a demonic merry-go-round, to be frank.  But I am really grateful that the getting psyched is happening a lot more than the big silences.

My Monday today was both a literal and figurative example of why Monday's can be dreadful.  How so?  The first intrusion was a COBRA seminar.  And not one about the supercool Bronx Zoo Cobra.  No, instead I got to hear about the alternatives to this:

Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm very grateful that, by law, there is continued health care coverage.  I'm also mindful that I've been fortunate to have had excellent health care coverage all my working life.  And I know that it's a benefit that doesn't come cheaply.  However, in spite of regularly reviewing my contributions to my health care coverage when I was working, I had no idea just how costly it was.  Until, I got my COBRA statement.  And the monthly payment staring me in the face is more than some of the mortgage payments on houses that I've owned.  Can I get a "YIKES!"  So, to explore alternatives to COBRA, I spent part of my day in a seminar on that very topic.  The bottom line - the budget is going to feel some significant intrusion whether it's a COBRA or an alternative.  Outstanding!

The literal intrusion came a little while later, with a delightful visit to the doctor. The one who specializes in, well, plumbing. The one where you hear the snapping of rubber gloves:

I don't think I need to say anything more.  If I do, then you're not enjoying the delights of being a middle-aged man and I'm going to let you be surprised.  Good times, my friends, good times.  I'm glad this Monday is pretty much over.

My Musical Travesty

There's a challenge making its way across Facebook  that caught my attention. Normally these challenges annoy me. This one intrigued me. You go to this site, enter your date of birth, and it returns all the #1 songs on the Billboard chart on your birthday since you were born, and then you are supposed to post, without shame I might add, the video of the song that was #1 on the day you were born.  While I chose not to do this, I did go to the site and saw the list o'songs that have been #1 on my birthday.  The results: an unadulterated musical travesty.  I give them to you now with, in most cases, significant shame and necessary editorial comment (buckle up, it's a long list, I'm old):

2011 - "Moves Like Jagger" - Maroon 5 featuring Christina Aguilera - you better move like Jagger if you want to beat Ms. Dirrty to the buffet table
2010 - "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry - catchy but really pervy when you get down to it
2009 - "I Gotta Feeling" - The Black Eyed Peas - I gotta feeling like I'm going to vomit explosively each and every time I hear this mass murder put to music
2008 - "Whatever You Like" - T.I. - OK, T.I., since you asked, I'd like you to stop
2007 - "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" - Soulja Boy Tell'em - queue the crickets
2006 - "SexyBack" - Justin Timberlake - further proof that the AutoTune is a tool of the devil
2005 - "Gold Digger" - Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx - further proof that winning an Oscar means nothing
2004 - "Goodies" - Ciara featuring Petey Pablo - Someone call Univision...who is Petey Pablo?
2003 - "Shake Ya Tailfeather" - Nelly, P. Diddy & Murphy Lee - please don't
2002 - "Dilemma" - Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland - no, no dilemma here
2001 - "I'm Real (Murder Remix)" - Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule - murder explains what should happen to this song
2000 - "Music" - Madonna - not Madge's finest hour, but certainly not her worst
1999 - "Unpretty" - TLC - an actual powerful message song
1998 - "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" - Aerosmith - you know what I'd like to miss? Ever hearing this song in an elevator again.  Ever.
1997 - "Honey" - Mariah Carey - this must explain the Jenny Craig endorsement deal
1996 - "Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix)" - Los Del Rio - this is the second most shameful thing on the list.  I want to shoot myself
1995 - "Gangsta's Paradise" - Coolio featuring L.V. - Best.One.Hit.Wonder.Ever.
1994 - "I'll Make Love to You" - Boyz II Men - no, no you won't
1993 - "Dreamlover" - Mariah Carey - no, no you aren't
1992 - "End of the Road" - Boyz II Men - means you're done.  They didn't get the message.
1991 - "I Adore Mi Amor" - Color Me Badd - well done on the Spanglish
1990 - "Release Me" - Wilson Phillips - wasn't their other big hit called "Hold On?"  These girls need to make a decision.
1989 - "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" - Milli Vanilli - the most shameful song on this list.  I am appalled.
1988 - "Don't Worry, Be Happy" - Bobby McFerrin - this is the most annoying song on the list.  Hands down.
1987 - "Didn't We Almost Have It All" - Whitney Houston - if this is a reference to your drug habit, then, yes, Whitney, you did
1986 - "Stuck With You" - Huey Lewis & the News - I was on my mission on a musical blackout for this one.  Talk about a blessing.  That said, Huey still owes us all an apology.
1985 - "Money for Nothing" - Dire Straits - heavy MTV rotation then.  When MTV was about music.
1984 - "Missing You" - John Waite - not missing you, Mr. Waite
1983 - "Tell Her About It" - Billy Joel - oh, Mr. Piano Man, piano men everywhere are crying...
1982 - "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" - Chicago - it's hard to say anything good about this
1981 - "Endless Love" - Diana Ross & Lionel Richie" - the cause of more awkward moments at 8th grade dances than any other song
1980 - "Upside Down" - Diana Ross - are we sure this wasn't her alter ego, Michael Jackson?
1979 - "My Sharona" - The Knack - all I know is that this song was banned from my house back then
1978 - "Boogie Oogie Oogie" - A Taste of Honey - as disco died, this song survived?
1977 - "Best of My Love" - The Emotions - timeless enough, right?
1976 - "Play That Funky Music" - Wild Cherry - do you really think they wanted White Boy to play the funky music?  I'm not buying it.
1975 - "Fame" - David Bowie - oh, Ziggy Stardust, what's become of ye?
1974 - "Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe" - Barry White - right on, Barry, right on
1973 - "Let's Get It On" - Marvin Gaye - I have a feeling this one was also on the no-play list at home when I was a kid
1972 - "Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me" - Mac Davis - was he an actor? A singer?  Based on this song and his acting performances, I'd say neither
1971 - "Go Away Little Girl" - Donny Osmond - there are no words
1970 - "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" - Diana Ross - the first of three appearances of Ms. Ross on the list.  This would be the only one that was good.
1969 - "Sugar, Sugar" - The Archies - enough to put you into a diabetic coma and there's nothing good about that
1968 - "Harper Valley P.T.A" - Jeannie C. Riley - high camp, highly awful, highly awesome in its ridiculousness
1967 - "The Letter" - The Box Tops - apparently the USPS worked 45 years ago
1966 - "Cherish" - The Association - this was the #1 song the day I was born.  Oh dear.

There you have it.  And here's the thing.  I have four of these songs on my iPod. Feel free to guess which ones.  I recommend that you check out what was #1 on your birthdays. It may surprise you.  Or shame you.  Or even scare you. Bottom line - this reminds me of just how powerful music is.  It's the gatekeeper to all kinds of memory and emotion.

Patience. A virtue?

Patience.  What to say about patience?  Certainly plenty has been made of patience.  It's widely known as a virtue.  Does anyone know where that nugget of wisdom comes from?  No?  Well then, walk yourself over to that arbiter of all things true on the interwebs, Wikipedia, to get the truth behind the statement: "Patience is a virtue."

If you clicked on the link above and read it, did you notice a couple of the things that I did?  Things that should make you question the virtue of patience.  Like the following:

• It comes from a phrase in a fifth century poem entitled "Psychomachia."  Umm, what good has ever come from anything associated with the word 'psycho?'  Aside from Jamie Lee Curtis ('A Fish Called Wanda' Jamie Lee, not the creepy, poopy Activia Jamie Lee) who emerged from the loins of "Psycho" star and she-who-would-never-take-a-shower-again Janet Leigh, that would be nothing.
• It is one of the teachings of some nerd icon from the dorkfest that is "Dungeons and Dragons."  And really, what good has ever come from that?

Those two things alone make me question the tenet that patience is a virtue.  Perhaps, and I'm going out on a limb here, I'm a little sensitive to the whole 'patience' thing right now.  Being out of work, or as I like to describe it that I am currently unencumbered, is doing a number on my patience.  I've been very fortunate to have a great network of colleagues who are looking out for me and that I've had several good potential opportunities and a number of interviews already.  In this economy, that's a good thing.  I'm struggling with the fact that things aren't moving at the pace I would prefer.  Hence, my challenge with patience.  And you know, in my heart of hearts, I understand that this life is all about being tested, learning, and growing.  This episode in my life is one of those testing/learning/growing moments.  The Apostle James wrote:

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

There's some wisdom in that single sentence.  James packed a lot of wisdom into his brief writings.  This is one of his teachings that I am holding close.  Good things will come.

2012:No Excuses

It's here. A new year. Another year.  By the time this year is over, in 365 days (yes, I am including this year's Leap Year, I just didn't include today in the count for those of you who are nitpicking, and I know some of you are), there will only be one teen-ager left in the Den.  I will be one year closer to 50.  And if the Mayans are right, none of this matters as we'll all be dead as of December 12, 2012, so please plan accordingly.

I'm not much of a student of Mayan history or their penchant for world-ending destruction, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and plan for seeing 2012 and beyond through to the bitter end.  That being said, I will not be making any resolutions this year.  This is in keeping with years' past.  Resolutions are just like Newt Gingrich's presidential campaign or Lindsay Lohan's attempt to resuscitate her D.O.A. career or my continued willingness to try and nail the Bollywood dance steps in "Just Dance."  These things are a recipe for disaster.  So no need for me to wade into that pool of unpleasantness.

I am, however, declaring 2012 my year of "No Excuses."  Own it.  Get things done.  Get up and try again.  I am going to find different ways to get things done that may have impeded me in the past.  Just don't make excuses.  Rather than excusing the occasional failure or mistake, I'm going to endeavor to learn from it and improve.  So there it is.  It's out there.  No excuses.  (215)