My Musical Travesty

There's a challenge making its way across Facebook  that caught my attention. Normally these challenges annoy me. This one intrigued me. You go to this site, enter your date of birth, and it returns all the #1 songs on the Billboard chart on your birthday since you were born, and then you are supposed to post, without shame I might add, the video of the song that was #1 on the day you were born.  While I chose not to do this, I did go to the site and saw the list o'songs that have been #1 on my birthday.  The results: an unadulterated musical travesty.  I give them to you now with, in most cases, significant shame and necessary editorial comment (buckle up, it's a long list, I'm old):

2011 - "Moves Like Jagger" - Maroon 5 featuring Christina Aguilera - you better move like Jagger if you want to beat Ms. Dirrty to the buffet table
2010 - "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry - catchy but really pervy when you get down to it
2009 - "I Gotta Feeling" - The Black Eyed Peas - I gotta feeling like I'm going to vomit explosively each and every time I hear this mass murder put to music
2008 - "Whatever You Like" - T.I. - OK, T.I., since you asked, I'd like you to stop
2007 - "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" - Soulja Boy Tell'em - queue the crickets
2006 - "SexyBack" - Justin Timberlake - further proof that the AutoTune is a tool of the devil
2005 - "Gold Digger" - Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx - further proof that winning an Oscar means nothing
2004 - "Goodies" - Ciara featuring Petey Pablo - Someone call Univision...who is Petey Pablo?
2003 - "Shake Ya Tailfeather" - Nelly, P. Diddy & Murphy Lee - please don't
2002 - "Dilemma" - Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland - no, no dilemma here
2001 - "I'm Real (Murder Remix)" - Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule - murder explains what should happen to this song
2000 - "Music" - Madonna - not Madge's finest hour, but certainly not her worst
1999 - "Unpretty" - TLC - an actual powerful message song
1998 - "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" - Aerosmith - you know what I'd like to miss? Ever hearing this song in an elevator again.  Ever.
1997 - "Honey" - Mariah Carey - this must explain the Jenny Craig endorsement deal
1996 - "Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix)" - Los Del Rio - this is the second most shameful thing on the list.  I want to shoot myself
1995 - "Gangsta's Paradise" - Coolio featuring L.V. - Best.One.Hit.Wonder.Ever.
1994 - "I'll Make Love to You" - Boyz II Men - no, no you won't
1993 - "Dreamlover" - Mariah Carey - no, no you aren't
1992 - "End of the Road" - Boyz II Men - means you're done.  They didn't get the message.
1991 - "I Adore Mi Amor" - Color Me Badd - well done on the Spanglish
1990 - "Release Me" - Wilson Phillips - wasn't their other big hit called "Hold On?"  These girls need to make a decision.
1989 - "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" - Milli Vanilli - the most shameful song on this list.  I am appalled.
1988 - "Don't Worry, Be Happy" - Bobby McFerrin - this is the most annoying song on the list.  Hands down.
1987 - "Didn't We Almost Have It All" - Whitney Houston - if this is a reference to your drug habit, then, yes, Whitney, you did
1986 - "Stuck With You" - Huey Lewis & the News - I was on my mission on a musical blackout for this one.  Talk about a blessing.  That said, Huey still owes us all an apology.
1985 - "Money for Nothing" - Dire Straits - heavy MTV rotation then.  When MTV was about music.
1984 - "Missing You" - John Waite - not missing you, Mr. Waite
1983 - "Tell Her About It" - Billy Joel - oh, Mr. Piano Man, piano men everywhere are crying...
1982 - "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" - Chicago - it's hard to say anything good about this
1981 - "Endless Love" - Diana Ross & Lionel Richie" - the cause of more awkward moments at 8th grade dances than any other song
1980 - "Upside Down" - Diana Ross - are we sure this wasn't her alter ego, Michael Jackson?
1979 - "My Sharona" - The Knack - all I know is that this song was banned from my house back then
1978 - "Boogie Oogie Oogie" - A Taste of Honey - as disco died, this song survived?
1977 - "Best of My Love" - The Emotions - timeless enough, right?
1976 - "Play That Funky Music" - Wild Cherry - do you really think they wanted White Boy to play the funky music?  I'm not buying it.
1975 - "Fame" - David Bowie - oh, Ziggy Stardust, what's become of ye?
1974 - "Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe" - Barry White - right on, Barry, right on
1973 - "Let's Get It On" - Marvin Gaye - I have a feeling this one was also on the no-play list at home when I was a kid
1972 - "Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me" - Mac Davis - was he an actor? A singer?  Based on this song and his acting performances, I'd say neither
1971 - "Go Away Little Girl" - Donny Osmond - there are no words
1970 - "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" - Diana Ross - the first of three appearances of Ms. Ross on the list.  This would be the only one that was good.
1969 - "Sugar, Sugar" - The Archies - enough to put you into a diabetic coma and there's nothing good about that
1968 - "Harper Valley P.T.A" - Jeannie C. Riley - high camp, highly awful, highly awesome in its ridiculousness
1967 - "The Letter" - The Box Tops - apparently the USPS worked 45 years ago
1966 - "Cherish" - The Association - this was the #1 song the day I was born.  Oh dear.

There you have it.  And here's the thing.  I have four of these songs on my iPod. Feel free to guess which ones.  I recommend that you check out what was #1 on your birthdays. It may surprise you.  Or shame you.  Or even scare you. Bottom line - this reminds me of just how powerful music is.  It's the gatekeeper to all kinds of memory and emotion.