The End Is Near

You can always trust Homer J Simpson to know
the right thing to say.

December 15th, 2007, was a snowy day in the Chicago suburb affectionately known as the Dirty 630. Mapmakers as well as the mayor of that town prefer it be called by its real name, Naperville. On that chilly evening in the Nape, I decided to start a blog and ten less than artfully created sentences later, this blog was foisted on an unsuspecting public.

I never intended this blog to be anything more than what it was - a place for me to share what was happening in my family in order to quell the steady lament from my mother that she never knew what was happening with us; to share my musings whether you wanted to hear them or not, and from time to time, to try and be a better writer. I never wanted this to be a money-making enterprise, nor did I want it to take its place in the pantheon of "Mommy/Daddy Blogs," especially those unique to people of my faith, wherein everything is perfect (spoiler alert - it isn't perfect) and parents have no problem shilling their children for cash and cheesy product placements. The Den was never going to be the place for that. Ever.

Ten years later and after 1123 posts, in the inimitable words of that sage philosopher and parental train wreck Homer J Simpson, the end is near for the Den. In the last year, I pulled back significantly on my postings and no one seemed to mind. It's not that I am out things to share or stories to tell, I just feel like it's time to step away from much of the interwebs. That's especially true of the Den of late. It's been difficult to muster the spark to share something. Once I got to the point where I wasn't feeling a mountain of guilt for not posting and, to be fair, that's been a recent conclusion, I decided it was time to step away.

So the end is near. I'm not saying the Den is being destroyed, never to rise again. Rather, think of it this way: the owners know something needs to be done with their real estate but they just don't know what to do. The temporary solution is to board the place up while they think long and hard about the next steps. Who knows? Maybe it's a major remodel or it could be that the decision is to knock the thing down and start all over again. That decision could come next week or next month or next year. We shall see.

For now, thank you to each of you who found a seat in the Den that you liked. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to spend some time here. Thank you for the comments, posted here and shared with me in person, over the years. It's meant a great deal to me and I appreciate it very much.

Thank you.

I'm Back.

Well, after an unprecedented absence / break / disappearance from the Den, I'm back, for better or worse.

My last post, on Memorial Day, was 68 days ago. I wish I had some dramatic backstory to give you as to what caused my near ten week absence. I can affirm that I was not kidnapped by aliens, unless they gave me a heaping dose of Propofol, in which case, I affirm nothing. Also, none of Trump's goons came after me for my Twitter feed (although I may be tempting fate on that one) and forced me to work in one of Ivanka's sweatshops as punishment for exercising my freedom of speech.

While none of those things went down, life kept going.  That's the only excuse I have for my absence: life happened. Regretfully, some of those things didn't get documented. I'm not going to turn this into Patty and Selma's Egyptian Slide Show Nightmare but here a couple of highlights.

The RM came home for the first week of June, in the company of a lovely young woman named Megan. She seemed to really like him because when they rolled off the plane, the RM was dressed in the latest in what can only be described as "Utah County Young White Mormon Rapper Thug Chic," and she wasn't bothered. Suffice to say, I was highly agitated. Anyway, we spent a great week with them and loved getting to know Megan. Two weeks after they returned to the Zion Curtain, the RM asked Megan to marry him and she said yes, in spite of the aforementioned clothing debacle. We are delighted for them and excited to welcome Megan into our family.

The day after they left, Our Lady of Awesome and our two grandchildren arrived for a glorious two week stay. I took a week off while they were here and we had a tremendous time together. I was reminded that I am no position to argue with a four year old about anything, especially when it comes to dialogue from "Toy Story." We picked strawberries. We found out that Pez are made in Connecticutistan. We found out that my granddaughter harbors zero, and I mean, zero fear around water when we took them to Ocean Beach for the day. After having them with us for two weeks, we were reminded how hard it is to live so far from all of our children and grandchildren.

July found me in London for a week for business and I'll never complain about that. After that, the stunningly patient and mighty fine SML and I spent a weekend in NYC to celebrate her latest birthday. That included taking in "The Lion King" on Broadway. I've steadfastly refused to see it for a host of reasons but I finally caved and surprised her with tickets (she genuinely had no idea). I will admit it was not horrible. I then had a quick trip down to Atlanta where I had a chance to take in the Porsche Experience Center. This was an insane experience and I highly recommend it. Seriously.

Suddenly, June and July were gone and we're inexplicably into the first week of August and 68 days below by without me posting. I'm back now. Back to the occasional inanity that are my posts. Back to the observations of a middle aged man doing time in New England. Like I said, this is for better or worse.

In its 10th year

I was feeling nostalgic the other day and went back to my first post here in the Den - December 15, 2007 - and realized I am now in my tenth year of blogging.

I guess there's something to be said for that, right? I'll let you be the judge of what it is that should be said. Somehow I've managed to stick with this little piece of the interwebs longer than I've ever stayed with one company. We've never lived in one place longer than seven years since we've been married and yet this blog has managed to enter its tenth year.

As it enters its tenth year, I'm taking a bit of a different approach to how I post here in the Den. In the last couple of years, I felt compelled to get at least ten posts in a month. There was no reason for it other than my own self-imposed goal. That goal fell apart when I took a hiatus (thank you  obscene cruise ship internet fees) last year as the stunningly patient and mighty fine SML took a much-needed vacation. Once we returned, I found it hard to get back in the groove. None of your worlds fell apart and neither did mine as a result of my less frequent posting. So this year, I'm not going to worry about  a certain number of monthly posts. I'm going to write and post as I see fit. The content is going to change much either, so you've been warned.

One thing that I do hope will improve is the writing itself. Inspired by a conversation with two friends (one over lunch in Dallas and another while we were back in Chicago last month), I've decided to pursue some writing courses. I'm starting with a seminar with the Gotham Writers Workshop next month and we'll see where it leads. I'm kind of excited, if I'm honest.

Here's to seeing what this tenth year will bring!

1000 Posts

Grand

K

dimes

Those are just three slangy ways to refer to the number 1000. That number, 1000, looms large in today's post because after 999 posts, this is the 1000th post here in the Den.

It's taken eight years to get here. I started  this little endeavor in December 2007. It allowed me to lament the weather in the greatest city in the United States, Chicago, and get indignant over the pimp mothering stylings of one Lynn Spears (she who spawned Britney). Lynn now looks absolutely angelic compared to she who has assumed that throne now and forever, the horrific Kris Kardashian. What a difference eight years make!

In those eight years, the makeup of the Den has changed. The son-in-law Awesome and two grandchildren have added to the headcount. We said goodbye to my father. The Den took up new digs in Connecticutistan. I've changed jobs three times in the ensuing years. There have been graduations, both high school and university, jobs, internships, and that little matter of TMFKATB's two-fer mission in Mexico and behind the Zion Curtain in the heart of Mormon Mecca, Salt Lake City. Whew! A lot has happened over the course of these past eight years.

I've overshared plenty in these 999 posts, too. And what lessons have been learned in all of that? Let's see: I was an awkward teenager. My wife, the stunningly patient and mighty fine SML, deserves a medal. I'm proud of my family. I've rarely met a meal I don't like. I don't recommend getting sick on a plane. I'm terrified by the prospect of a Trump presidency. And you most recently learned that running tights can kill.

At the core of all this foolishness is a love of storytelling. That's what the Den is. It's the story of the life I know and love. We all have a story to tell and I've enjoyed telling mine. I have appreciated the comments over the years. There's a couple of you that seem to like this, so I'm going to keep chugging along.

So I hope your comfortable here. Settle in and enjoy the read.

On not blogging from an iPhone

I returned last night from a five day business trip to Mexico City. It was a great week where I was able to pay righteous homage to the wonder of the street taco (more on that for another post, no doubt). It's safe to say I love me some Mexico City.

My week there did point out the one flaw in my decision to ditch the iPad for my iPhone 6+. Turns out it makes for one craptastic platform for blogging.  I tried to get the weekly update from TMFKATB posted but that didn't go well for a host of reasons, like these:

• My fat fingers made typing out his letter an invitation to early onset arthritis
• My unwillingness to pay international data roaming charges made it difficult to post at will. As information, playing the game of "Gambling for Free WiFi" in Mexico City is a losing proposition

As I look at those two examples, I think I may have been too hasty in blaming the iPhone for the blogging challenges of the last week. I think it may be a bit more of a case of user error. I'm not shocked by that turn of events, to be honest.

What was not shocking was this week's letter from TMFKATB. He and his companion had a good week, with opportunities for service and teaching. He was really happy with the fact that they had met this goals they had set for themselves during the week. As someone who has had the chance to serve in two missions, TMFKATB is gaining a different perspective. He shared this:

In Mexico, I got humbled by people's situations, but even here there are many families that have had, or are having, super tough lives. It's not all perfect here in the U.S. Most just try to work and help their families in other countries.

It's not perfect anywhere, for sure. There's something powerful in recognizing that your own country in spite of being tough, is still a beacon of hope for so many from all over the world. I wonder what would happen if a certain bigoted blowhard megalomaniac who is currently headlining the U.S.  Republican clown car race presidential campaign spent a day with the TMFKATB and his companion. He might learn something. Ah, who am I kidding...

900

900 posts

900. Have you given much thought to the number 900? Neither have I, but the truthsayers of the interwebs at Wikipedia have and here's what they report about the number 900:

It is the square of 30 and the sum of Euler's totient function for the first 54 integers.

Um, do you know what that really is? It is the reason why it took me two years to pass freshman algebra in high school. It is the reason I was the only senior in a high school geometry class full of freshmen (for only two weeks because I dropped the stupid class). It is the reason math is my Lex Luthor, my archenemy.

On a lighter note, the year 900 was when the Postclassic period began in Mesoamerica. It was the year that those tough Venetians managed to repel the pesky Magyar raiders. It was also the year that everyone's favorite Pope, Benedict IV, succeeded Pope John IX.

900 is also what this post represents. I have somehow managed to sustain this little blog thing for 900 posts now. What began as a place for me to overshare has in the last seven years evolved into, well, a place for me to still overshare. So not much has changed, has it? No need really to go back through and look at the highlights of the last 899 posts. That's why there's a 'search' box on the blog. Besides I go back and look at some of it and it reads like an entry into "Mortified Nation." Good times, people, good times.

As I have said in the past, I can't thank you enough, the Den loyalists, who have taken a seat on the sofa here in the Den. I'd like to think I'm doing something right because you're sticking around. I'm glad your my friends. Thank you.

Now, it's 100 posts to 1000. I've got things to think about because there are still stories to be told here.