Highlight of a slow news Friday

This has been a long, long week at work and I'm really glad Friday is here. I'm looking forward to the weekend. It will be good to spend some time with the stunningly patient and mighty fine SML. It's another week of only one child - CAL was at Church Girls Camp this past week and the Boy leaves for a full week of Scout Camp. To him, I say good luck.

While my week has been anything but slow, it seems that this Friday has been a slow news day. The news has mostly focused on Ellen DeGeneres quitting the train wreck that is American Idol. How that is headline news worthy, I know not. I did, however, come upon this gem, this highlight of a slow news Friday:

N.J. man gets jail for vomit-assault at game


What? Apparently said New Jersey resident, pictured above forced himself to puke, or as the article put it, "projectile vomited" on a man and his daughter at a Phillies game in April. The story ran in the Associated Press on msnbc. Read it yourself here.

Unbelievable. The comments about the character of the puking perpetrator by his family are worth the read. Unbelievable. Sure makes me eager to get to a ballgame. Instead of trying to catch a foul ball, now you wonder if you need to catch chunks. Nice.

Friday Night - Shrimp Tacos and Bugsy...Malone

We've been buffeted by all kinds of thunderstorms all night and it led to my 10 miler being canceled this morning (lightning was crazy). Looks like the rain will be with us all day.

When it started last night, I was grilling. Grilling this:


That's right. Shrimp. Shrimp on the barbie...queue the lame Australian accents and jokes now. We grilled the shrimp for tacos. They were darn good. Of course, we had to grill some chicken for CAL, our psuedo-vegetarian. Still trying to figure that one out.

After dinner, I subjected my kids to an oldie that I found on Netflix. Bugsy Malone.

Yes, that musical about gangsters featuring a cast full of kids, including Jodie Foster and Scott Baio. This is proof that his acting career should have ended with this film, but no, he had to go on and give us the soul crushing "Charles in Charge." Scott, you owe the good people of America an apology.

I remember seeing "Bugsy Malone" when it came out. I had to be about ten. It seemed pretty clever then. Now, in seeing it again, not so much. It's just plain creepy. And weird. I guess I can only blame the 70's. What a weird decade. Seriously. I mean kids vamping it up like adults (go to YouTube and search "Bugsy Malone" and you'll see what I mean). No, I'll give you a taste of it now:


There are no words.

Good times in the waiting room

So Tuesday night, I flew to the cavalcade of sweltering heat and discomfort that is Phoenix, AZ, to be with my Mom for a surgical procedure on Wednesday. Said trip started auspiciously when my flight, the last of the evening to PHX, was delayed for three hours. No one at Mother United seemed to know why. Because it was so late, I wound up in the terminal rather than the Red Carpet Club. This did allow for some interesting people watching, capped off by a screaming match between two Spanish women, one of whom was a dwarf. Good times.

I got up early Wednesday, thinking I'd beat the heat, to go for a run. I could have not been more wrong. 97 degrees at 545AM plus humidity (not Chicagoland-style but humid enough to exacerbate the already stupid heat) is simply unacceptable. I was the only dope running...this should have told me something. It was not a good run. Pace was off due to the heat. Yuck. I'm glad I did it because it prepped me for the rest of they day.

Mom's procedure, without going into significant detail, involved a long day at her doctor's office. It had been converted into a surgical center for the day. A specialist surgeon flies in for the day to perform a specific series of procedures. Each procedure lasts between four and six hours. I knew that in advance. What I didn't know is that the average age of the patients was about 900 years old. Let me give you a flavor of what went down in this waiting room. Picture it:

Seating for sixteen people - there are at least 12 patients plus people accompanying them. This does not include one wheelchair and one guy on a scooter. So things are TIGHT.
A table with water bottles, vending machine items like "Hunny Buns" and an endless supply of Satan's refesher, Sunny D (Sunny D flowed freely on my mission - los cubanos thought it was great. It is not.)
Hearing aids not working - lots of yelling. Lots of it. It started with yelling about what they were in for and quickly descended into Obama-bashing. Several people are convinced that they are on the Obama Death List due to their age and maladies. It got worse from there...someone old man started complaining that he couldn't watch Fox News and needed to see his Glenn Beck.

I wanted to die. I probably lost more blood than my Mom did during her procedures from biting my tongue and the inside of my lip. It was crazy. Now the good news is that my Mom sailed through her procedure and did great. She was worn out by the day's end and we were lucky. We got out after five hours. I felt like a freed hostage once we were out of the office. Of course, as soon as we were outside, where it was 107 degrees, I once again felt like one of the oppressed.

Anyway, so Mom has some cool wounds that are now recovering nicely. She looks like she got into a knife fight with Lindsay Lohan. I wish she'd use that excuse but something tells me she won't. She's on the mend so I'll go ahead and fly back home this afternoon. Let's see if I can get home on time.

The Campaign That Won't Quit

A goofy picture of you and your daughter at your first Parents' Weekend during her freshman year of college.
Goofy picture wins a contest and is used as the feature advertising of the next year's Weekend.
Screaming phone call from said daughter this very morning, saying that the picture is being used again for the 2010 Parents' Weekend and she's getting texts left and right from people saying they saw it.

PRICELESS!

Yep, there we are, bottom row center. Do you think BYU will toss me a free ticket to the Parents' Weekend game this year? Check here for no. No matter. It will be good to be in Provo again, October 22 - 24, hanging with Our Lady of BYU. Looking forward to it!