Without going into significant or colorful detail (and I tried to illustrate it using Google Images but on this rare occasion, decorum ruled for me, and you should be grateful), I made my way to the doctor's office today to get a very small lump, a bump really, checked out under my arm. Well, in my underarm. Thanks to a quick scan of WebMD yesterday, I decided I'd better get in today.
First, I have to say kudos to my medical group - they've established a service to get you in for same day appointments and that is not by pointing you to the Urgent Care. It really works - I called at 11AM and had an appointment with an Internal Medicine specialist at 12Noon. I will quibble with the wait they put me through - apparently they've taken a lesson from our friends at the world's worst airline, USAirways. 1200Noon actually meant 1240PM. I sat waiting in the Exam Room for 40 minutes without a word from anyone. I honestly thought I was on a delayed USAirways flight. All I needed was a really nasty nurse to come in and yell at me for asking when the doctor might be coming in and then it would have been exactly like a USAirways flight and making the mistake of asking one of their flight attendants for a water.
Anyway the doctor comes in and I describe my issue. She asks to give it a look. I think to myself, "Well, it's your funeral." So off comes the shirt and she gives the lump/bump in my underarm a couple of taps and declares it an issue with a lymph node that can be addressed with an antibiotic. I'm still shirtless and she's at the computer making some notes about the visit with her back to me when she says, "Now, you don't shave your underarms, right?"
How do I respond? I mean she just saw that CLEARLY a razor has NEVER landed under my arms. While I'm not the missing link, there's nothing bald there either. I just had to shake my head. She must have sensed the fact that her question was making me think she picked up her medical degree at Fred's Casa of Hot Dogs and Online Medical School, she spun around and copped to the fact that that was a lame question. I was relieved. But still...I just had to shake my head.
Welcome to the first day of my week.
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