I haven't been inside a coin laundry since 1987. I did laundry in some of the finest (and by 'finest,' I mean mostly fronts for drug deals and the fencing of stolen goods) laundrys in the greater Miami area for about two years during my service as a missionary for my Church. As I watched my laundry spin tonight, I thought about some of those establishments, or 'lavanderias.' There were some things common to them:
- The owner was typically a Cuban man who stationed his wife or mother, either of whom had to be borderline elderly, at the front to act as the bouncer
- Said woman was required to have at least one television blaring away at full volume at all times
- Said woman would scream colorful (read obscenities) things whenever Fidel Castro's name was invoked
- The television was always playing a novela. Novelas are Spanish-language television soap operas and they are awesome. Same story every time - poor girl, wealthy boy with a brutal mother, a priest and a nun, and a requirement that at least one male actor be shirtless at all times. Also, the sets were such that whenver a door closed, it nearly brought down the whole thing. Finally, they always had them songs, like "Que porque te quiero" or "Mi vida eres tu"
- Finally, the dryers were set to "Nuclear Meltdown" level, regardless of what level you set them to. I melted more waistbands of the unmentionables than I care to remember...
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