Parents Weekend - Year 2 (LONG!)

After the upheaval of the last couple of weeks here in the Den, I was actually looking forward to getting on a plane yesterday to see Our Lady of BYU for this year's Parents Weekend festivities. This is the second year of our participation.

Flight out was good although I think Mother United is changing their boarding policies without telling anyone. My boarding pass said boarding was at 10:02AM for a 10:22 AM departure, so I left the filthiest Red Carpet Club on the planet (the one on the appropriately named "F" Concourse at ORD) at 10:00AM and I got to the gate about three minutes later. The agent said, "Are you going to Salt Lake?" and I said yes and urged me to get on like it was the last flight out of Saigon. I get on the plane and it is full. Here's the rub though - we didn't close the door until about 10:20AM. I have no idea what the spasm was about...anyway, we left on time and landed in SLC 30 minutes early.

I stopped to see a good friend on my way down to Provo and it was great to connect with him. We laughed a lot and even engaged in a little bit of conversational lecture, well, I did.

After I checked into the hotel, I called Our Lady of BYU and she invited me over to her "ghetto" apartment. Clearly, she's never been to a real ghetto. I will say this though...the carpet stains which are probably 20 years old give her place a crime scene investigation feel. So after the brief tour of her palace, we went up to campus to pay homage to the Wilk. I was reminded that the condo I lived in when I was there is in fact a total hole now. Seriously. After the homage tour on campus, we got her some groceries and then got together with her friends for dinner.

We went to an earnest little place in Provo called Guru's Cafe. It wasn't bad for a Provo restaurant that espouses a philosophy. You can tell that because of its decor, right down to the Buddha head. Nice touch. It's an eclectic menu with an odd ordering concept. You line up and order off the menu to one totally overwhelmed cashier. This is highly problematic on a busy Friday night. Highly. It didn't seem to bug the kids, but it did me.

That being said, dinner was great. We kicked it off with sweet potato fries. These were a gift from the heavens:

I had the shrimp tacos and for being in land-locked Utah, they made a mighty good shrimp taco:
The mango salsa rocked

Dinner was fun listening to Our Lady and her friends go on about college life. Lots of boy drama. Texting has changed the dating scene, I certainly learned that last night. It was a good time.

This morning kicked off with the Parents/Alumni 5K. I was nervous about this as I have not run at all this week and this is at a much higher altitude than the plains of Illinois that we call home. Couple of things in my favor this year - it was much, much warmer for one and I felt like I had eaten right in advance. The race started late, of course. Nothing like Mormon Standard Time. The course was lined again with the international students, mostly from Asia. They were good cheerleaders but I'm sure they thought we were all maniacs. Here's what was doing before the race:

Me and Our Lady
Looking like a complete spastic as I approach the finish line

This was a good race. I finished 89th overall and bested last year's time by about two minutes. It was all good. We got breakfast afterward at Jamba Juice and I am totally on board with their oatmeal, even though it's made with spew, I mean, soy milk. I recommend it!

And now we've got the game this afternoon. Man, the winning Cougars better show up. We CANNOT have a repeat of last week's debacle. At least, I get to enjoy the game with Our Lady. Of course, I'll be in the student section with her and will be the oldest one by about twenty years. Pathetic.

43

So it's my birthday today and I'm one year older and feel none the wiser. I'm 43 today. So 43...what does that mean? When I think 43, I think about the last person who ran around with the title of 43 and that was our 43rd President of the United States, George W. Bush.
Dubya formal

According to Wikipedia, here's some things that have gone down on my birthday:
- It's Feast Day for Korean Martyrs
- There was a Papal Schism in 1378
- The Bersaglieri entered Rome and ended the temporal reign on the Pope in 1870 (lots doing on 20 September for our Roman Catholic friends...whew!)
- The first Cannes Film Festival was held on this day in 1946
- And on this day in 2001, the above-mentioned 43 declared the "war on terror" before a joint session of Congress

I remember that speech. My dad was laying in an ICU in Phoenix awaiting a quadruple bypass and that was what we watched with him in the hospital that night. Nothing like a little declaration of war to take your mind off impending massive invasive surgery. Nice.

It's been a good day. So good to be home and sleeping in my own bed. Our tradition of getting breakfast in bed held. Although since I get up so early, it's a drag for the kids. The stunningly patient SML made chorizo burritos, or as I lovingly call them, my own little version of Liquid Plumber - the pipe cleaning outcome is the same - for me and they were awesome. It was a food-centric birthday, including a gift certificate to the best in Israeli dining, Naf Naf Grill (my love for the Naf has been well documented here as well as on my Facebook page), and a real cool new cast iron pot for some additional kitchen adventures. Dinner tonight was spaghetti carbonara jammed with CHUNKS o'garlic, spinach salad with sun-dried tomatoes and orange peppers, and garlic wheat bread. We'll top it off later with red velvet cupcakes. Red Velvet Cupcakes are my new obsession. Complete fixation. Seriously.

Like I said, it's really been a good day. Our Lady of BYU called (remembered the old man's birthday!) which was completely awesome. And she didn't have to have her mom tell her to call. Talked to my mom and she's had another good day, given all that she's been through and it was a terrific day of getting religion. Our church youth sang today and brought me to tears with how good they were. So while I'm none the wiser today, I'm happy and grateful. It's been a good birthday.

The man I want to be..and, oh yeah, the man I don't

One of the things I've learned about my Dad since his death is how pretty much every one he met felt like he was their best friend. He was a great man, I always knew that, but I didn't realize how much he touched all those he met. This was drilled home to me today in two places.

Early this morning, I stopped at CVS to pick up one of my Mom's prescriptions and when I gave the pharmacy tech my last name, she paused and asked if I was John Lyons' son. When I said yes, tears welled in her eyes and she told me how much she appreciated my dad. She said that he had learned the name of her new baby, remembered it, and always asked how the baby was doing. She mentioned how much she would miss seeing him. My dad was at the pharmacy a lot and so made a good friend there. Later this afternoon, I finally got the dry cleaner that Dad used to see if he had anything there. When I walked in, the Thai owner asked me for my phone number in order to pull up the order. I gave him my parents' number and he looked at me and said, "You aren't Mr John." I told him that no, no I wasn't and that I was his son. I then explained that my dad had recently died and I was stunned by his reaction. Tears filled his eyes and he called his wife over to say that Mr John had died. She put her hand to her heart and said nothing for a moment. They both were overcome and then began to express their condolences. It was stunning. It struck me how my dad made every person he ever met feel valued and like a friend. He truly was no respecter of persons.

It's made me think about the kind of man I am and I realize that I have to repent. Need to change my ways just a little in order to live a life more like his. I need to be better about making people feel like a friend. I've got to be a better man.

One way not to do it, though, is not eating this monstrosity:
The so called Wise Guy Burger from Red Robin

What on earth would be "wise" about eating this? It's a burger with mozzarella sticks, marinara, peppers, and pepperoni piled on it. No good can come from this. None. How could this make me a better man? It would only make me a deader man. So I am going to vote no and work on being a better man as noted above.

Finding normalcy

With apologies to the 1920 presidential campaign of Warren Harding, I'm going to use the word 'normalcy' here. Normalcy is what I'm after while I've been with my Mom since my Dad's death two weeks ago today. How strange to write those words and to think that it's been two weeks. It's a daunting task to try and bring a sense of normalcy to the life of someone who's lost their spouse of more than 50 years with no warning. But I think we are getting there.

Since arriving here on the the 4th, it's all been about getting my Mom settled into her new life and routine without my Dad. I've been amazed by the outpouring of love and concern shown to my Mom by literally hundreds of people. It's been amazing. My brother, sister, and I are in the unique position of not knowing what to do with all the offers.

I am so proud of my Mom and how she has gone from strength to strength during this traumatic experience. With each visit from a friend or card in the mail, Mom seems tap another vein of strength. I am in awe of her. I am also really proud of how we've pulled together as a family to find the best solutions for Mom going forward. I am confident she's going to be OK. I'm feeling a lot better about heading home this weekend. A lot.