05 February 2014

Dressing for comfort

One of the things that has dogged me most during my 'recovery' has been just how bad my incisions itch and how they seem to react in anger at the slightest touch. With four of them adorning my gut, this has made for some interesting clothing options. Picture if you will, or not if you're smart, me pulling my shirt up and crafting my own version of a halter top whenever I am not standing up. It's not pretty.

So I've asked myself how would others try to dress for comfort in a situation such as this? I thought of none other than that paragon of fatherhood, one Homer J. Simpson, the beloved drunken patriarch on "The Simpsons." Homer is no stranger to tight clothing irritating his gentle skin and at one point, he donned the following as a solution for dressing for comfort:
A zaftig Homer in a jaunty caftan
While my issue is not related to obscene weight gain, like the aforementioned Mr. Simpson, you can see from the picture, he seems to be enjoying the freedom and comfort of his caftan, which I think he got from a yard sale out front of Honey Boo Boo's double-wide. Seeing his joy got me to thinking. 'Could this work for me?' As I ponder going back to work here shortly, the thought of tucking a shirt into a pair of pants and then ensnaring all that in a belt with the sole purpose of enraging my incisions, how could I not ask, 'Could this work for me?'

If it were 1973 and I was an extra on the set of 'McMillan and Wife,' then yes, it would have worked like a charm! I could have even sewn my own (that's a lie - I can not sew):
More proof of just how awful the 70's were
Can you believe it? Neither could I. Alas, I know I can't pull this off. There's a reason (more like 10,000) the man's caftan craze never caught on. I will not be hatching a new fashion trend, sweeping down the halls of my place of employment, dressed for comfort in a caftan when I go back to work. No, no I won't. Instead, I may be falling back on the hope that I can get away with my shirt untucked. I'll just say I'm going through my hipster phase. Yeah, that'll work.

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