25 April 2008

Revisting the Disney Killing Machine

So what's a family to do on a rainy, rainy (including a tornado watch!) spring night in the Chicagoland suburbs? You go to the local junior high school to see their production of "High School Musical."

That is, in fact, what we did tonight, minus Sarah, who was working. We went to Parker's junior high and watched the Disney Killing Machine in action. Now, I'll give these kids props. Clearly they worked hard and they had a good time. It had its bumps in the road, including some microphones that could only be described as tools of deafness. When one of the actresses got to screaming, I swear the windows were going to blow out. At one point during the screeching, I leaned over to Shari and begged, "By all that's holy, make it stop!" She wouldn't. It was fun to watch Parker getting excited for his classmates. He's really good about supporting his friends.

And I have to give props to the Disney machine for continuing its quest to take over the world as we know it. They start by killing parents (the body count has been disputed in earlier posts here, but suffice to say, it makes some wartime body counts look like a walk in the park), throw some catchy musical diddies to soothe freaked out kids into preteen-ness, and then they unleash the brainwashing precision strike musical that is "High School Musical." "We're All In This Together?" What is it exactly? That would be Disney's corporate profits. But that's not quite enough...then they have to go cataclysmic with the twin nukes - Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers. At what point do we just bow in submission to the Mouse?

It's a good thing this blog isn't one where you can hear how I sound right now. My allergies have kicked into high gear since spring showed up here and it's all settled in my throat. When I can speak, I sound like the heinous creation of an even more hideous union between the late, great Barry White and Peter Brady (c'mon people, you know what I'm talking about...."When it's time to cha-a-a-nge").



No good can come from this and I have to get back to my normal voice by this Wednesday as I'm teaching a full day seminar in Montreal. Yesterday, I was in Washington DC at a board meeting and it is no small task to get people to take you seriously when you sound as completely freakish as I do right now. It's enough already.

3 comments:

Naomi said...

You may need to "stick to the stuff you know," Mike. In all of your cynicism, you missed the bigger message of this Disney box office hit. I mean, this truly is the "start of something new" as every pre-teen in America felt the higher call to "bop, bop, bop straight to the top, and wipe away their inhibitions." Now the world knows that "there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach." I mean, they're really "breakin' free!" and "goin' for the glory." If you missed that higher message and deeper meaning, you really missed out. . . maybe it got lost in the scream of the mic.

Now, you need to "Getcha head in the game" before you take on that next speaking engagement.
(Although, if you really work the Barry White side of things, you could be a real hit with the ladies!)

Michael said...

Naomi, by all that's holy, the last thing this country needs is every preteen and teen that has fallen under the Disney spell wiping away their inhibitions. Isn't the train wreck that is former Mousketeer (and skank par excellence) Britney Spears proof enough of what goes wrong?

Naomi said...

Yeah, but look how good little Christina and Justin have turned out. . .

Olivia just looked over my shoulder and said, "Hmmmm, I didn't know that Krusty the Clown had a daughter."

Now, if my kids hit the skids, I am laying the full blame on the fact that family bonding time at our house consists of Kevin gathering the kids around to watch the nightly episode of The Simpsons. I clearly lost that fight years ago. . .