07 May 2013

Itchy & Scratchy

As you may be aware, or not, my go to television show for consistent laughs is a little program called "The Simpsons." Two of my favorite characters are stars of a show within the show, the murderous frenemies, Itchy and Scratchy. They rule and that's all I think I need to say about that.

Since last Saturday, I've gotten up close and personal with my own Itchy and Scratchy. What, you say? I'll let the pictures do the talking:
Meet Itchy!
Meet Scratchy!
Itchy is my left leg and Scratchy my right. Those red marks are just a smattering of the bug bites I got on Saturday as the stunningly patient and mighty fine SML and I did some yard work. It was a gorgeous spring day, worthy of wearing shorts, and we wanted to take advantage of it by getting a planter ready, as well as getting the lawn mowed. The shorts, at least for me, turned out to be a bad idea.

During our time in the yard, we were assaulted in a most subtle fashion by what appeared to be gnats. They weren't mosquitoes and whatever they were, they seemed far too small to bite. Wrong again. Whatever these flying minions of Satan were, they did a number on me and the mighty fine SML. We've both been itching like lepers and just as one series of bites seems to ease up, another group gets all red and angry again. It is not awesome. It's a suckfest, quite frankly. 

So I'm not all that happy with Itchy and Scratchy right now. I've learned an important lesson though. Apparently, here in our little corner of Connecticutistan, spring yard work requires the donning of a Haz-Mat suit in order to avoid the assault of these insidious biting little devils. Lesson duly noted. I'd write more about the other lessons learned but I have to itch and scratch the backs of my legs now. I'm out.

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