30 December 2015

Road Trip - Day Three

Day Three of the Oranges of Wrath. Five states were traversed and as the day draws to a close, we are a mere four hours drive from the finish line! Here are the highlights:

As we got our start in Beaumont (where we stayed in the most ratched Residence Inn ever), CAL who is suddenly a Texan to the core, had to buy a pair of cowboy boots. We stopped at an emporium of all things Texas cowboy called Cavender's. I nearly got the pointy end of a boot rammed through my skull there. Note to self for my next trip to Cavender's: shorts (golf shorts, mind you not a "bro" version of Daisy Dukes) a pink Polo, and a pair of Brooks' running shoes are NOT appropriate attire for said store ever. Suffice to say, the welcome wagon was not rolled my way. CAL though scored these boots:
With the boots added to our already heavily laden transport, we made a run for the border.

This is a swamp. We are driving over it. Welcome to Louisiana. Lots more billboards concerned about my soul. The big question in Louisiana is if I die tonight, will I awake in Heaven or Hell. Given the ratched hotel from the night before, Hell had already been seen, so I'll take Heaven. Also between Scott and Baton Rouge, I decided to stop for boudin and cracklins. Taking one look at the place, I drove right on past sans the pork delights. It looked like a real-life version of the "Saw" set. Nope, even by my low standards.

I wasn't driving so didn't pay a lot of attention. There seemed to be a lot of mobile home parks.

Apparently people in this state are very, very accident prone. I base this on the number of billboards for the services of accident / injury attorneys. It's almost as if these fine practitioners of the law are encouraging people to go out and fall at the Wal-Mart. But they wouldn't do that, right?

Just 35 miles out of Mobile, we crossed the state line and found ourselves in the rainy Klanhandle. I am pleased to report that the body / storage bag strapped to our roof is living up to its 100% water-proof guarantee. Also, Floridians appear to be as accident-prone as their Alabama neighbors. This is an epidemic, people. Another epidemic - the Waffle House. There using at every single exit off the I10. This pleases me.

So we are calling it a night in Florida's Capitol tonight. That leaves us a mere four hours behind the wheel tomorrow. Can I get a 'woo' and a 'hoo'?

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