Leave it behind

As you may have guessed, I fly a lot. Some would argue too much. When you can recite the safety demo in three different languages for the airline you fly the most, it's probably a sign I'm flying too much.

When I fly, I'm mindful of the exits and what it will take to get the heck off the plane. And I hope the dopes sitting around me have paid attention as well, because I'm not sticking around. I'm getting the heck off the plane when I hear the word "Come this way! Evacuate!"

Well, a United Airlines flight (949 from London Heathrow - a flight I've flown a few times) landed Wednesday night at ORD and suddenly an evacuation was underway, thanks to flaming brakes. It appears the crew did exactly what they were supposed to do, leading a swift evacuation. Unfortunately, the passengers did not. Check out the video captured from the scene:
 
Kudos to the guy who went down the slide in shorts without losing six layers of skin. I've been down a 767 slide in a mock evacuation. It's like going down the back of a dry cat tongue. Not something I'd want to do in a pair of shorts. And well done, tripping over the guard light. But the crown goes to the lady who managed to escape with her carry-ons in hand. She's the reason people die in accidents. While she's desperate to save her "Many Purses of Queen Elizabeth" plate that she got at the Marks and Spencer from the overhead, people behind her are overwhelmed by smoke and don't make it off the plane. Well done, lady. LEAVE IT BEHIND!!!

So here's hoping on my next trip that it's drama-free. And if we're evacuating, remember, I'm not waiting around. Leave it behind! 'm getting the heck off!