16 May 2012

Another ride in the Wayback Machine

This past Monday night, I jumped on the Wayback Machine and took an awesome ride.  Awesome does not even begin to appropriately describe it.  I have ESPN Classic to thank for the ride.  What did they do?  They aired an episode of the inimitable "Battle of the Network Stars" from the early 1980's.  Battle of the what, you ask?  I realize that many of the readers of the Den don't even know what a network is anymore thanks to satellite TV and the interweb and I weep for you.  Weep because you never got to know the glory of this televised trainwreck.

Let me break it down for you - essentially this was an outdoor field day activity - think the 8th Grade Field Day you suffered through but instead of your pervy PE teacher yelling from the sidelines, it was Howard Cosell in a wicked leisure suit calling the shots - for TV celebrities from the three networks.  Yes, that's right, three networks.  That's all there were back then - three networks.  Today, the participants would be D-List at best, but back then, they were the top of the heap.

It was a sight to see again.  I couldn't believe it.  The feathered hair, the headbands, the inappropriately cut and disturbingly tight running shorts and that was just Scott Baio and the other male participants.  Terrifying!  The women included the likes of Daisy Duke from "The Pukes Dukes of Hazzard," a very manly Cathy Lee Crosby, and some blond from "CHiPS."  Do you understand how awesome this mess was?!  Two glorious hours with Howard Cosell doing the commentary.  I was literally in tears from the laughter.  It was completely awesome.

This could not happen in today's reality TV-soaked world.  That's probably OK too.  I don't think, no, I know I don't want to see the Kardashians doing anything. Again. Ever.  Anyway, if you are ever looking for a good laugh and an awesome trip in the Wayback Machine, watch an old episode of "BOTNS."  You will not regret it.

1 comment:

Middle-aged Mormon Man said...

I LOVED that show!