20 May 2012

Measuring Life

When it comes to self-confidence, I've never felt like I've lacked in that area.  I've always thought I was pretty self-confident and self-assured, but not to the point of egomania (except for my teen-age years and for those of you who knew me then, all I ask is your forgiveness).

Here's a peek, welcome or otherwise, into my psyche.  My self-confidence has always eroded faster than Britney Skank Spears' mental stability whenever I've been told, 'Why can't you be more like So-and-so?' When told this, I hear the following: 'So-and-so is much better than you.  You won't measure up.'  This reaction was particularly acute when I was younger.  Monthly interviews with my mission president when I was nineteen and twenty were always fraught with internal tension for me as I waited for him to say, "Elder Lyons, be more like Elder So-and-So.  Look at all's he doing."  None of this was malicious in its intent.  It was meant for me to learn from those around me.  Learning, or being teachable, is a key hallmark of humility.  Suffice to say, I struggled with that principle.

Fast-forward twenty-seven years or so, and I still find myself wondering how do I, or more to the point, how does my life measure up?  When I measure my life up to this point, firmly seen from my middle-aged perch, I think it's been good, really good.  I'm not deluded enough to call it perfect.  That stated, I'm looking forward to getting some insight from this tome:
I've just started reading it and I'm intrigued by the book's premise.  Christensen is a brilliant thinker.  He and I share the same religious faith and I'm eager to see how he incorporates those principles into this book.  Those principles have already help me firmly root my life and show me the measures of my life that matter.  I'm still interested to see what insights I gain from reading this.

Thanks for indulging me.  I guess that's what happens when you find yourself getting all kinds of introspective on a quiet Sunday.


Monty Newlin said...

The late great Peter Gomes said that generally we are not overly confident ("we are better than we really are"), but all, from childhood on, suffer from the imposter syndrome, ("we are worse than they think, and they might be right"). Your confidence is well deserved.

Let me know if Clayton's book is a good read; if so, I'll pick it up.

Scott Hinrichs said...

Wow. I do not recall a single instance in my life where a priesthood leader admonished me to be more like Elder or Brother So-and-so. I've had them counsel me to be more like Jesus or more like one of the prophets. But as far as I recall, I've never been directly admonished to be more like a contemporary.