50

So I've hit that number today

There's another birthday here in the Den today and that birthday is mine. It just happens to be one of those significant milestone birthdays, too. Today, I celebrate fifty years of darkening the door of this wonderful thing we call life.

I like what Victor Hugo said about being 50. He said "Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age." Turning 50 does not mean that I am suddenly middle-aged. That ship sailed when I turned 41. Per the good people at the U. S. Social Security Administration and their super fun Life Expectancy Calendar (have fun playing with that one!), I am expected to live to 82.2 years old. So I am nearly a decade into my middle-agedness, which for my children means at least three more long decades of dealing with me. Buckle up, you three! It's only going to get worse. You have been warned.

Here's some fun facts, courtesy of the Interweb's truth sayer Wikipedia, about 50:

• 50 is the atomic number of tin (as a sciencephobe, this means nothing to me)
• 50 is the number of Gates of Wisdom and Gates of Impurity in Kaballah. I wonder about the connection between wisdom and impurity now.
• 50 is the number of U. S. states. No, really, there are only 50 states. It is not 51 (sorry Washington DC or Puerto Rico).
• 50 is the number of the retired jersey of San Antonio Spurs Hall of Famer, David "The Admiral" Robinson.
• 50 is the number of rings required to transform Sonic to his super form in the "Sonic the Hedgehog" game. Given my extensive (and by extensive I mean non-existent) history as a gamer, this another one that means nothing to me.

Thanks to the great Paul Simon, we know that there are "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover."

Thanks to Keanu Reeves in his tour-de-force role from the 1990's cinematic masterpiece "Speed," which in itself is a gift that just keeps on giving, and Dennis Hopper's creative bomb-making skills, we know that 50 was the danger zone. Remember if that bus went slower than 50 MPH, it was goodbye Sandra Bullock and Cameron from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

I'm excited to hit this milestone. I'd like to think it's going to give me an air of added maturity. In reality, it's brought me an invitation to join AARP and starting the countdown to this:

Yep, that delightful procedure is coming. It's one of the harsher realities of turning 50, as is this point made by the life of any party he must have attended, English author George Orwell. He said, "At age fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." Let that one sink in. If I now have the face I deserve, I shudder to think what else is coming my way in terms of what I deserve...

Clearly, 50 is going to be awesome. I'm a few hours into it and I'm already a fan. The first fifty years have been good, darn good. I think the 32.2 years that I have left are going to be darn good, too. Among other things, I want to see if there's any truth to this statement from T S Eliot:

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always 

being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.

I'm 50. I'm not dead yet, so no need to toss me in the Wagon O' The Dead:

SaveSave

His last transfer

Salad(!) and the Bingham Copper Mine

Due to yesterday's Independence Day celebration, I wasn't able to post the update from TMFKATB. So here it is, a day late.

This week's missive was brief, scant on detail but chock full o'exuberance. As is the norm, we get his family letter first and then as his day wears on, he sends additional updates. His family letter, entitled 'The Last Transfer,' was a reflection of the joy he has found in his two years of service. It all seemed to come together in the last couple of days for him and he was nothing short of elated.

He reflected on the fact that news would be coming about transfers and that this would be his last one. It was clear that he didn't want to be transferred but he put a positive spin on it. A few hours later, in his unbroken streak of everything somehow turning to gold for him, he sent this news:

"Great news! I'm staying here! I honestly can't ask for a better way to end! I am so happy!"

How do you argue with that? I am so happy for him and how he'll be able to wrap up his service. He's got six weeks left and he's as happy as he's ever been. So to celebrate, he and his companions went to the Bingham Copper Mine. If you've ever flown into the Zion Curtain's welcome mat, Salt Lake City International Airport, and you've approached from the south, you've seen this mine. It's a lovely eyesore open-pit copper mine which you can't miss. Strangely, that's where his happy took him yesterday. Good for him.

Maybe I should try that the next time I'm the receiver of great news. Go find a mine or a quarry and soak it all in. Whatever works, right?

So many things about this picture...but you gotta love the
skies that the Mountain West manages to produce.
And what about the motorcycle photobomber?

In brief

107 days until TMFKATB returns, but who's counting?
@numberaday.blogspot.com

Brevity, thy name is TMFKATB.

With this week's letter, he continued his streak of brief updates. I am beginning to believe he's doing this on purpose because he knows it's driving me nuts. If that's his real intent, well, he's hitting it out of the park.

The reality is I don't have much longer to gripe about the length of these weekly updates. Late last week, we got information regarding his release date and travel request information for his return back to the 'Stan. He's going to be home in the proverbial blink of an eye and this two year cavalcade of stories that I've been sharing with you will come to an end. I'm going to miss sharing this experience. Until that day comes, though, I'll keep the updates coming, no matter how brief the content.

As for this week, he's happy and he's focusing on the three things that have helped him to stay happy: humility, repentance, and forgiveness. While he didn't get into specifics, natch, he mentioned how those three principles have helped him to stay happy throughout his missionary service. I know that if he can stay focused on those principles in his post-mission life, he'll sure have a better understanding of his fellow man and some of the things that make them tick. It will help him to stay happy.

We have an additional measure of happiness awaiting us this weekend when we'll be able to see him, thanks to a Mothers Day Skype call. Sunday is going to be a great day, can I just tell you? At that point, it'll be down to 102 days, but who's counting?

The Bird Whisperer

Now he's the Bird Whisperer

After a few weeks of a pretty meager selection of photos to typically accompany the weekly letters from TMFKATB, he dumped nearly three times his usual number of pictures. The pictures that came with today's letter were all over the map, but each made me smile. His letter was smile-inducing as well.

His mission president's three year service comes to an end at the end of July and transition plans to the new mission president are already under way. As TMFKATB put it today, "Lots of big (well, he said 'bug' but I'm taking that as a typo) things happening in the mission!" He's pretty excited to be a part of it too. He'll also be attending the Church's General Conference this weekend too and that's got him pumped as well. That's one of the benefits of serving in the smack dab in the heart of the Zion Curtain.

I don't think he'll be taking the bird in the picture with him though to Conference. Last week, as you may recall, he shared a picture of himself with some one's pet (allegedly) rat. This week, suddenly he's the Bird Whisperer. I laughed when I saw this because if he were serving the Philippines that bird would have never made it to the cuddly hand-holding stage. That bird would have been served up in the shell as balut. If you clicked on the link (calm down, it will only take you to Wikipedia, the truth sayers of the interwebs) and you think balut is not a thing, I can assure you it's a thing. When my parents served in the Philippines for three years, they told their American missionaries they couldn't try it. I'm pretty certain that mission rule was widely broken. I've tried balut and it is not delightful (think a really brine juice, with a hint of feathers, and the slightest crunch of beak that, like everything else, kind of tastes like chicken). It's not horrible either (Logan, you have been warned), seriously. I suspect had TMFKATB just sampled balut, his smile would not be quite so big.

I'm glad to see that smile. I'm glad to hear from him each week. Seeing how he's growing and working through challenges and experience has been more rewarding than I can explain. I'm going to miss this when it wraps up later this year. It's going to be here before we know it.

A little late but it's my bad

Chillin' or chilled? He looks cold to me.

I totally own the fact that this week's update from TMFKATB is completely my fault. I was in a snowy, slushy (not to be confused with the famed Slushie, but gross, dirty, shoe destroying, melting snow slushy) Manhattan from Monday afternoon until this evening and I have yet to master the art of blogging to the standard upon which you all have become accustomed via the Blogger app on my iPhone. It gives me fits, I'm telling you, fits. I did try but the formatting was hideous, so I voted no.

As for this week's brief letter, it was a week of #firstworldproblems, Mormon missionary style for TMFKATB and his companion. They got snowed on (Utah winter = snow). Then their car died on a snowy morning. Then they got a free meal at Brazilian churrascaria. They stayed busy and had some successful teaching sessions. Like I said, tough week.

I love getting these letters. While they'll never be recognized for their detail-rich writing, each week brings a picture of these two years of service that is uniquely his. It's great to see him maturing, but I love that his personality still roars through each week. As I've said before, it makes me happy. That's all I need right now.

A short letter

Since we got to 'see' TMFKATB thanks to Skype on Christmas Day (P.S. Best gift of the year!), we got caught up on his week. So this week's letter was pretty brief. He shared the excitement of the baptism of someone they'd been teaching for awhile now. He was humbled by prayers offered. He affirmed that he's happy.

That was certainly true during our call with him. He's happy. He's funny. He's growing up. But he's still Parker. His insistence that his beard is savage (it is non-existent) and the smack talk between him and his brother-in-law confirmed he's still Parker. Hard to believe he'll be home in less than a year.

In brief.

It would be foolish of us to expect that TMFKATB writes a version of "War and Peace" each week. In what is now 75 weekly letters, he has kept us up-to-date on what's going on his life and has rarely left us  wanting for more. Maybe since it was his 75th, today's letter was brief, as in MTV News brief (gotta keep it snappy when your audience is the very definition of short attention span).

Most importantly, he's happy. He has a new companion and is now working with a young man from Florida (the Panhandle area, which is a whole new level of Florida crazy that he gets to learn about) but he's enjoying working with him. Per him, it was a week with some excellent training and spiritual growth.

That said, it was awfully short on detail. When he's brief like this, I tend to do a little reading between the lines, just to reassure myself that all is well. In doing that today, I get the sense that he's doing fine. He's making sure that things are never boring as he serves. Life was never boring when he was home. He excels at making sure things aren't dull.

Even though he kept things brief today, even though it's been a few hours since we had our exchange, here I am mulling things over, smiling at some of the things he said and I'm grateful for that. So there is beauty in brevity after all.

Brevity

Bandera de Mexico Man

Sometimes a paucity of words can be a good thing. Sometimes when someone is brief, it's nothing to get worked up about. A brevity of words doesn't have to mean someone is getting rude. It can just be that the message needs to be concise. Why bury something in a whole lot of subterfuge?

Apparently, brevity was the theme of this week's letter from TMFKATB. He wasted no time in getting to the point of his letter:

I am super happy!

There wasn't a lot more to his letter than that. A couple of informational updates on some of the people he's working with and the random fact that he's going to be building a basement this week constituted the whole of this week's download.

I'm not complaining at all. As his dad, knowing he's happy is all I need. He's happy teaching people. He's happy building basements. He's happy in the heat of an Indian summer.

In the end, isn't that what we want for one another? That we're happy.

Very little is needed to make a happy life;

it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.

Marcus Aurelius

As a final note on happiness, take a look at the video TMFAKTB sent from a Fiesta de las Americas he attended. The kid in the hat will make you smile.

Happy

Yeah, I don't know what's happening here. I just know that
TMFKATB is all kinds of happy

On the subject of TMFKATB's weekly letters, I know that I've beaten our sense of joy on Mondays to death. I get it. The horse isn't even worthy of the glue factory, I know, but somehow I keep sharing this sense of excitement with you. All I can say is thank you for putting up with it and for still being interested in reading about his service.

Having served a mission myself, I know that when you are composing those weekly missives, you sometimes wonder if you share everything or if you edit. For instance, thirty years ago as I served, I chose to edit some of the 'gunplay' I witnessed, or had jammed into my forehead, while I was in Miami. Somehow I don't think my mother would have reacted well. In addition to the day-to-day things you experience that you edit out, you sometimes wonder if you include some of the downs that happen. A mission is not all sunshine and roses, but I know I didn't necessarily share all the challenging times in my letters home. Not so with TMFKATB. He's been pretty darn excellent about sharing everything. When he was in Mexico and in the process of blowing out his GI system, we knew in graphic detail just what it was doing. He's been great about sharing the highs and the lows and we're grateful for that.

Today's letter was all about the highs. It was about the most joyful letter we've gotten. He and his companion are hitting on all cylinders and they are seeing the rewards of their hard work. They are seeing the impact of their service and it's brought them enormous joy. For TMFKATB, he's had some experiences over the past few days that have helped him to be a bit more bold without being obnoxious (most twenty year olds are not exactly known for their conversational finesse, so this is a great growing experience). He's seeing miracles, large and small, in people's lives. He summed it all up in this one sentence to me:

Dad, I am so happy right now!

And you wonder why I look forward to Mondays so much. I'll take a line like that and cherish it. You can't wish for more than that for anyone.

Say what you will about life behind the Zion Curtain, but
they sure do know how to make a mean sunset!

Brief update from behind the Zion Curtain

Proof positive he's no longer in Mexico

The stunningly patient and mighty fine SML and I are noticing a change in our communication to and from TMFKATB since he was reassigned behind the Zion Curtain. Since we are quite familiar with his environs, we are not asking him the litany of questions we peppered him with weekly when he was in Tuxtla. We were so eager to hear as much as we could from him about his area, the people and all that he was experiencing. Now that he's "This Is The Place" adjacent, it's a different line of questioning. Suffice to say, it's not quite so in-depth. His letters are no different in terms of the detail, not that his letters from Mexico were encyclopedic in their information. Today's letter and updates were no different.

He described a conference he attended that left him highly motivated and happy. He and his companion met the performance goals that have been set in his mission and that also left him very excited. His companion's mission is ending in a little over a week, which means a new assigned companion. He's hopeful it will mean full time Spanish work.

They are being well taken care of by the people they are serving. The picture of the pizzookie should be proof positive of that. He also raved about the homemade torta de cochinita with Yucatan seasonings he got.

Torta

It may not look like much but he said it was amazing. These two pictures illustrate the beautiful war of opposites that is being a "SpanAm" missionary. One minute, you are immersed in the culture of the people whose language you have learned. The next you are enjoying the artery clogging hallmarks of the diet that makes your country infamous famous the world over. One minute you are helping to explain the inner workings of the US government to a newly arrived immigrant and the next you are doing the same for the American that has lived here his whole life. But you love the people in both cultures and both languages. You cherish every minute of it. As a former "SpanAm" missionary myself, I know I did.

So while his update was brief, he reminded us that all is well. He's happy. Hence, we are too.

S'up, he said

During the time that TMFKATB served in Mexico, his English grew worse and worse and that was reflected in his weekly emails. They were an exercise in translation frustration as I tried to make them readable for his blog.

Now that he's Stateside, one would think that with the English influence, things might improve. One would be wrong. Now, to give credit where credit is due, it is a little easier to read his letters but as this week's email showed, he's using his Spanish enough to still impact his English syntax. That's fine by me, as I want him to hone his Spanish-speaking skills. They will be a blessing to him for a long time to come.

I was reminded of that today as I led a video call with my team, who stretch from Canada to Argentina. Our newest team member, an Argentine, is much more comfortable speaking in Spanish. Most of my team speaks Spanish but one does not so I was able to translate and was grateful to have been given that gift of a second language. Thirty years ago, as I hoofed it through the streets of 'locura' that was, and let's face it, still is, Miami, I had no idea how that language would serve me for the rest of my life. It's been a blessing. A straight-up blessing.

Reeling it back from Memory Lane, TMFKATB had a good week. He is really happy. He had a couple of experiences that reminded him why he's serving. He feels like they were pointed to people this past week to help them specifically and not be happenstance. He sees the hand of God in those encounters. It's an impactful lesson for a nineteen year old.

In spite of being in the heart of the Zion Curtain, he's not wanting for all things Latin. He raved about Salvadoran food and a place he wants to take me to some day. He couldn't say enough about the chuleta. Here it is:

That, my friends, is one well dressed pork chop. He's being well fed. Given that he lost thirty plus pounds, Salvadoran pork chops and the homemade bread that gets tossed their way isn't a bad thing. Until it is. He'll know when it is. It'll be the moment one of the buttons on his white shirt snaps off as he exhales and hits the kid across the table from him in the eye. I know this can happen from sad experience.

May he learn from my mistakes...

He's back out there

With TMFKATB's return to missionary service, Mondays just got interesting again. We anxiously awaited the email 'ding' sound around midday, alerting us that news from behind the Zion Curtain had arrived. Sometime after 1PM our time, the emails started to arrive. They did not disappoint.

Young MC? Throwing shade? I don't even know.

In a word, he is happy. He is so glad to be out working and serving again. His letter made us smile and brought us a great deal of relief. His first few days have been a bit like Dorothy after she was kicked to curb by that pesky tornado when she mused, 'I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.' As he settled into his basement apartment and got a hot shower in a clean bathroom, our missionary had to say, 'I'm not in Mexico anymore.'

He's currently serving with two other missionaries but that will only be for about another week until the next transfer. He's really happy to be working with these two and says they are getting along great. He's delighted to be busy and talked about how much they've worked since he got there. He's using his Spanish and is already working with people from Colombia and El Salvador. He's really excited about that.

It was funny for me to read his letter and to note how easy it was to read. Amazing what an English keyboard will do. There was punctuation and capitalization. I nearly died.

There's a little bit of me that will miss the letters from Mexico. But I realize that and to borrow a well-worn phrase from 1847, 'This is the place' for him. He's excited. He's happy. I can't ask for much more.

Yeah, so not Mexico anymore

Happy

After a few days of planes, trains, and automobiles, I'm on a little break. I've escaped the wintry confines that are Connecticutistan for the deserts of Arizona and am getting reacquainted with the large glowing orb some call the "sun." Some of you may be familiar with it. It's been interesting to see it again.

With some free time, I've also been exposed to the foolishness that is morning television and it appears to be a bleak race to the finish line of vapidness. This morning, for example, every one was chirping about the fact that today is International Day of Happiness. Seriously, it's a thing. Surprisingly, it does not appear to be invented by Hallmark or its ilk. I've never heard of this day and don't really get it, but hearing the term 'happy' being tossed around has gotten me thinking about happiness.

Happy. I like what Marcus Aurelius had to say about it:

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself in your way of thinking.

Marcus is right, you know, at least for me. It doesn't take a lot to make me happy. I may be simple, but family, friends and food are three core elements to making me happy. I've had them all during this mini-vacation and they've all made me happy, particularly last night's Punjabi gosht rogan josh and the Thai drunken noodles I had for lunch today.

One man's happiness may be another's undoing, I get that. I mean it's not everyone that can find bliss in a plate of rogan josh, but I can. That's the thing about happiness. It's up to each one of us to find our happy and to find it every day. One of life's blessings is the opportunity that we have to start anew each day. I can choose to find something good in the most challenging thing I face each day or I can opt to let it knock me down. I'll go for the good because good gets you the happy.

And happy is a good place to be.

Apparently, he was tired

Apparently, he was too tired to get up...or put on pants

This week's letter from TMFKATB was one missionary parents love to get. He spoke time and again about how happy he is. He's had a couple of moments of self-discovery too that are making it easier for him to focus on the people he's working with. Not even an earthquake that tossed him around his room this morning was going to dampen his spirit. Knowing that he is happy is a source of comfort, no a blessing, that is immeasurable to us.

I'll post a link to the letter later. It's been a day. Two hours hostage on the M train (don't ask) during evening rush can and does sap your energy. So when I've been renewed, yes, renewed, I'll add a link. But I will sleep peacefully knowing he's happy, serving, learning and growing a few thousand miles away.